note: this is not a mullet haircut
photo used only to illustrate tight fitting hockey helmet
From there it spread to hockey fans/enthusiasts who wanted to emulate their favorite players by wearing the same hair style. Another theory has been proposed that the proliferation of the mullet hair cut/style in Canada is due to the fact that Canadians are stupid and have no taste. Whichever theory one chooses to believe, it is known that "Mulletude" then spread down across the Canadian border into the United States. Now would be a good time to introduce the "Canadian - American - Heavy Metal - Hockey - Mullet - Connection Theory"...
About this time... the mid to late 1970's... Heavy Metal music was gaining in popularity. In particular, RUSH, a Canadian Heavy Metal trio was extremely popular with both American Heavy Metal enthusiasts and Canadian hockey players and fans/enthusiats ! Hence, the "Canadian - American - Heavy Metal - Hockey - Mullet - Connection Theory"... and such Mullet Monickers as the "Hockey Haircut" and the "Hockey Hairdo"... another variation on the theme being the "Soccer Rocker" ( at right ).
Note: Neil Peart's Haircut !
note: "Kajagoogoo" is yet another commonly accepted term for "Mullet"
It is commonly accepted by Mulletoligists the world over that "Southern Mulletude" is quite often the result of bad hair cutting/styling skills displayed in "kitchen" and "back porch" barber shops and styling salons that proliferate in the trailer parks and bayous of Southern America. Mothers and Aunts ( usually with names like Sueanne Joy, Katie Mae and Joeleen ) perpetrate unspeakable acts of molestation upon the manes of their ( mainly male ) kin-folk. These poor dullards really don't know any better... and in fact think that they are getting a genuinely stylish hair cut.
the "KENTUCKY WATERFALL"
the "MISSISSIPPI MUDFLAP"
a beautiful specimin of the "SQUIRREL HUNTER" or "SQUIRREL PELT"...
Note: the Southern Mullet wearer's preferred mode of transportation...
A decade old ( usually rusted through with gun rack ) pickup truck
The Infamous "Coon-Tail" or "Coon Hat" !
and finally the "CREEPY, SHAVE YOUR BACK AND SHOULDERS, FU-MANCHU MOUSTACHE WEARIN', TOO OLD TO BE AT SPRING BREAK GUY" Mullet ( almost a Skullet )
note: this may be one of Woody Harrelson's distant Appalachian cousins
A prime example of how the Mullet Gene is passed down...
the TRUE origins of Mulletude.
the "RATT" Family...
A truely STUNNING example of INTER-GENERATIONAL MULLETUDE
the "Mustachioed Mullet"...
the "femmullet" ( Femme - Muh - Lay ) also known as the "Pat Benatar"
the very rare "Attractive Femmullet"
a rare "ginger - femmemullet", not so attractive...
the "Midget Mullet"
Another example of a "Soccer Rocker"
A rare "Asian" Mullet...
An even rarer... Mullet Noir !
an EXTREMELY RARE "Asian - Kid n Play - Mullet - Combination" ! WOW !
Billy Ray Cyrus
Richard Dean Anderson
David Bowie as "Ziggy Stardust"
Bowie again in the 80's in Labyrinth..."
"DOG the Bounty Hunter"
Sir Paul McCartney
Bud Bundy ( David Faustino )
Moe Howard... As he was wearing the style back in the 1930's, Moe was truly "a man ahead of his time" !
As afore mentioned... "Heavy Metal" music has been a key component in the "rise of the mullet"... and as we all know, Heavy Metal has a long history/association with Satanic Rites and the Occult. Seen here is a "Person of Mulletude" displaying what is commonly referred to as the "Devil's Horns". This hand signal is used by Heavy Metal afficionados to indicate that the signaler's current state of mind is "Excellent !" or that a particular guitar or drum solo is "Rockin' !" or "Wicked Good !". These demons in our society are to be rightly feared and avoided, as they often turn out to be Pedophiles, Criminals, Neer-do-wells, Lackeys or even Service Technicians at Jiffy Lube.
It is not known when, where or how the Mullet made its way to the Middle East... Because these people/terrorists are always wearing turbans, ski masks, tea cozies or table cloths on their heads we have no idea just how pervasive the infestation really is. All we really know is that these are bad people with bad haircuts.
This last example of "Evil Mulletude" is most surely of the "Southern Mullet" or "Squirrel Hunter" origin. We call this one "Axe Murderer Mullet". What drove this poor bastard to commit such heinous acts as incest, rape, murder and soddomy of small rodents is not exactly known... maybe he was just so pissed off about the HAIRCUT his aunt Ida Anne Joe Bob Lynn gave him on the back porch of their shotgun shack in Alabama... that he had to go bezerk and do what he done !?! Lord only knows... That's a BAD HAIRCUT ! Amen... Hallelujah !
Also... The publisher of this BLOG just read "The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn" not too long ago... and lo' and behold Mr. Mark Twain himself uses the term "Mullet Heads" ( just once ) to refer to stupid, southern red necks... As Mark Twain and "The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn" OBVIOUSLY pre-date "Cool Hand Luke"... this latter example may be the first use of the term "Mullet" by the media.
While we recognize these as valid origins of the WORD "Mullet", we still stand by our "Dual Geographical Origins of Mulletude" Theory. We firmly stand by the "Northern Mullet" as a sub-species wholly unto itself.
And finally... real quick... some more "Mullet" synonyms... the "Achy-Breaky-Big-Mistakey", the "Missouri Comprimise", the "Colorado Cascade" and just recently spotted the "Wyoming Waterfall"...
There's nothing quite like a spectacular mullet,
One so perfect you want to reach out and pull it!
Coifed to perfection, or balding on top...
Each mullet I see I can't help but stop...
And wonder about the people who sport such a style...
So tasteless and tacky it just makes me smile!
Mullets go by many a name*,
But those who sport them are mostly the same..
Often you'll spot them pissing in alleys,
Or clad in wife-beaters at monster truck rallies.
Sightings are common where they naturally roam...
Freely ‘round dirt lots behind their mobile homes.
Perhaps those with mullets are right when they say,
There's no such thing as a bad hair day!
So God bless the mullet... The style I love to hate,
And the rednecks that sport them...
And think they look great!